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the author
lost? run home.  Criselle Ann. 21. aka Ann/ Crizy/ Kirk/Tish. Registered Nurse. eclectic. ironic.
adores: weekends. graffiti. journals. guitar demons. star-dotted skies. pink clouds. notebooks. cool rainy days. fat penguins. friendly robots.
note: hey i rule around here so be nice alright? no hate messages pls. constructive comments shall be appreciated.
 history
August 2007
September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 December 2008 January 2009 March 2009 April 2009 August 2009 September 2009 November 2009 December 2009 March 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 must-reads
optimism comes in waves*reckless imprudence*thursday in manila*long-awaited*mom thing*bummer of the week*jeepney*my scholarly bf*what's left of a summer*i write*2years*hell of a sunday*hiatus*seeing red*curve* not-so-secret love affair*dissent*unfortunate events*my xmas tree*Lomolove*drama*perya at peanuts*3 down*enough bacon*9signs*ban love letters*chonkeys*erap proclaimed guilty*alcohol-pink lips*
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10.10.2010
Eventually, I Had To Wake Up
I had been floating in a dream tonight. Everything else was unremarkable and forgettable until I saw his face. Right in the middle of all the blackness, there he was. Just his face. I’d like to think it took my breath away even while I was then asleep. It was so calm and beautiful and his hair was the way I always wanted it. He wore a faint smile that tells me everything will be alright. For a moment there was pure bliss. It felt so unbelievably real and he felt so near. I wanted so much to reach out and feel it. I felt the need to assure myself that he was there to stay, never drifting away. Even so, there was absolute peace in my heart. But then a whiff of emptiness came over me when I realized how I’m slowly forgetting the perfect feeling that seeing his face and being so near to him gives me. That feeling now seems to be becoming increasingly distant and inaccessible. It pains me to realize that these days, the closest I could get to it is through a dream.. Labels: blah, emo-schemo, favorite people, making sense, showbiz lovelife 8.28.2009
how to put yourself in trouble
Today, while BF and I were hanging out, I suddenly blurted out that I was crushing on a guy at school. Two seconds later, judging by his immediate reaction, I realized it wasn't a very good idea. Yeah, 'twas kinda stupid. At least I've been honest! Sure hope we'll just be joking about it tomorrow. I'd be damn lucky if that happens.XD * * * I edited this one a few days ago. It's amateur-ish but whatever, I like what it reminds me of. Photo was taken last summer at my grandma's old house just before the family had it demolished.
I got myself a new tumbler which means I will be drinking even more caffeine than I already am drinking.. I guess this also explains why I'm still up and blogging at 1am. I'm like, SO WIDE AWAKE right now. O_0 Labels: blah, photography, showbiz lovelife 4.06.2009
too emo for a title.
10.20.2008
this is but random.
"I was aware of the time slipping away so quickly, like the black road beneath us, and I was hideously afraid that I would never have another chance to be with him like this again — openly, the walls between us gone for once. His words hinted at an end, and I recoiled from the idea. I couldn’t waste one minute I had with him." ----Bella Swan, Twilight  Ok so I'm a fanatic. Leave me be. On a lighter note, I spent the whole day shopping with my sister. We both got new piercings. Haha. Trip lang. Had some coffee at Starbucks too. Then headed home and gulped down some alcohol.. just because we can't come up with anything else to do. BTW, had the pictorial last friday. The people were awesome.. that's from the photographers and their SLRs which made me drool, the director of photography, make-up artist, designer, stage parents and stage friends.:) Special thanks to Sir Poklong.:D And oh Nursing week was great too. Too bad I wasn't able to savor it coz I was busy with something else. Fck. I missed the games! Yeah I know it's loser-ish. I made it a point to be there at the acoustic sessions though.. Thony played guitar hero again. CON band rocked. Detailed post later, probably.  Need some sleep right now. Nyt earth. Sleep well.XD Labels: blah, family, favorite people, ms. Univ., photography, showbiz lovelife 10.12.2008
another one down. three more to go.
1st sem is over. surprise. surprise.  This has got to be the shortest sem ever.Well, it feels that way. I must say, nabitin ako.  Anyway, like any other normal student I've also been longing for sembreak to come. But now that it's finally here, somehow it doesn't feel right at all. I've only spent one day of vacation at home and now I'm bored out of my mind. Feeling ko wala akong silbi. Hehe. I guess I've just been used to the toxic lifestyle.
I'll miss III-4 (yung mga ka-close ko lang ehehe).  P.S. Oh and about that previous post.. Yes, for some obscure reason and weird turn of events, I did end up getting into that Ms. Univ. pageant. Sshhh.. don't ask why or how. Anyhoo, finals night is on December. Well, I'm new at this thing so wish me luck! Hope I don't trip over or say something funny out loud.XD I can't believe it's October already. I've kind of been losing track of time lately. Ciao! Labels: blah, ms. Univ., photography, school, showbiz lovelife, skool 8.10.2008
something sinister this way comes
This photo I took of a cemetery months ago gave me goosebumps the first time I saw it. Creepy. I guess a lot could happen when you're using expired film (no edits here of course!). I know it's probably just light leaks but it still is freaky.!  It reminds me of how I imagined the setting on one of my favorite book series. Well, speaking of that particular book series.. I mentioned in my previous post something about "my latest obsession".. ok so here it is..Drumroll please.... It's the Twilight series..! I don't expect you to be surprised, it's gone really popular these days.. what with the movie adaptation coming and all.. not to mention the overly hot lead actor chosen to play Edward Cullen --- Robert Pattinson (please remind me to stop drooling).  My sister and I bought the first book, Twilight, months ago. But it was only a week ago that I had the time to start reading it. I was so absorbed that I put it down only to eat, shower and sleep for 3 hours. Upon finishing it a day and a half later, I knew I just fell in love again. To whom, I'm not really sure. The story is your typical teenage love story, but with an edge that is... mainly because the girl (Bella) is an ordinary seventeen-year-old mortal who fell in love with a guy (Edward) who is not only a 90-year-old (if I'm not mistaken) vampire but also is hot, perfect and immortal.(!!) The story is painfully heart-wrenching and nostalgically inspiring so I highly recommend it to all bookworms and hopeless romantics out there..:) ************  This never gets old. I miss him. I miss us. I notice I've been using the word 'sinister' a lot lately. ****** [EDIT] Soo I just got back from that date with him. I'm actually grinning right now.:) Plus I also was able to grab a copy of Eclipse already. Too bad they didn't have a copy of New Moon which isn't hard-bound (hard-bounds are more expensive, making me a little too guilty too buy one). Three down, one more to go! BTW, I also bought my fisheye camera a lace. I feel I owe it some kind of compensation or apology after irresponsibly losing its lens cap months ago. XD Shock of the day: I just spotted my sister's stolen phone FOR SALE at the mall today! Labels: blah, bookworming, lomolove, showbiz lovelife 4.11.2008
my scholarly boyfriend
I am proud to announce that my boyfriend is now officially a College Scholar too.  I'd like to think that it was me who pushed him into it, what with all the nagging that he got from me all throughout the semester about how it's time to throw away his happy-go-lucky attitude. But then thinking deeper, I think it was more the product of initiative coming from himself than pushing from a pushy girlfriend. I mean, knowing Thony, he's the guy who wouldn't work for something which never really caught his heart in the first place. He'd rather sleep or play RF. I know that joining the scholarship bandwagon may not be the most important thing about this whole course that we got ourselves into. There could be more self-defining challenges in the future. But then, it still is a big something and if you've got the potential why not use it, right?! Sayang naman diba. Why not aim to be the best you can be? There's no harm in doing so... Only some sacrifices all throughout and sweet glory in the end.:) I know he's got potential.. and a LOT of it. I'm glad he's really starting to utilize it. Another advantage of the incident was that he just earned a hundred good shot points from my mom and dad.  Hihihi.BTW, joining us in our cheery mood last Tuesday were Yen and Eric. Had fun catching up and being nostalgic and all about high school. Ooh those were good times.  That day I also got a haircut which, like all other haircuts I've had in the recent past, didn't bring about any drastic change to my look. When I got home, I asked my sister (in Kapampangan of course) if "maganda ba bagong gupit ko?" and she was like "ahh nagpagupit ka?!".  Yesterday, Thony and I were at SM Pamp. coz we thought it's been a while since we visited the place together. I got a new voodoo doll and I also purchased 200 grams of the dried squid which I've been craving for for a while now. Had a wonderful date, minus the sored feet I got in the end. I knew I shouldn't have worn those heels!  Buh-bye for now. Got a meeting with Red and Arren later for the final (hopefully!  ) printing of the CDx.Labels: blah, favorite people, making sense, showbiz lovelife 3.19.2008
2 years and still running.
Last 03.17.08 was me and thony's 2nd anniversary.
 We thought of doing something new.. something we've never done before.. and so we went shopping in divisoria! weee... 'Twas my first time to go there and I'm glad it was with him. Yay! I felt a little guilty buying so much stuff all in one day so I didn't spend all my money.. But i still can't believe that the 3,000 pesos I consumed went such a long looong way.. damn I'm definitely going back to DV! I even got to buy pasalubong for my dad, mom and Tin.The only thing we hated were the icky  muddy streets we had to walk on.. it rained sometime in the afternoon that's why. I felt like throwing up all throughout the bus ride (as always) coz of the air freshener (which I've hated since the day I was born ), but I nevertheless of course loved the experience. We also got lost a little but found our way afterwards. Oh well, getting lost was kind of fun anyway. lol. On the way home, we watched the orange sun set behind the mountains... and then I was happy. Just like that.  'Twas yet another first for us. And there'll definitely be more in the future. Stay tuned for more of the adventures of Ann and Thony. **** Woke up earlier than usual today. Made a large tumbler of iced coffee.  It's been a while since I had coffee coz my mum won't buy cream. Was about to go back upstairs, watch cable or turn the PC on and go online like I always do but then I had a glimpse of the garden outside and decided to sip my coffee and sit under the large green umbrella there instead. The morning was really cool and quiet.. Gave me a chance to clear my head. And I was like "why the hell don't I do this more often?!".Anyway, I can't believe I'm still not starting to review for final exams. Just the thought of it gives me shivers..  hihihi.. BTW, because it's Holy Week, as is our family tradition, we're going to see the "magdarame" later (or whatever they officially call themselves).. can't wait!That's all for now.. Yipee my emoticons are back!  P.S. You won't ever hear (or read rather) me say anything about the upcoming summer vacation.. err.. coz I'm not one of the lucky people who will be having it. It's the start of our batch's summer classes so byebye to 2-month-long vacations for me.. Screw Nursing! (hehe joke lang ung screwing part.. baka makarma.) ciao.  Labels: blah, showbiz lovelife, trip 3.09.2008
kinacareer
Last Monday, my friends and I went to AUFMC in between classes to visit Arren's sick mom. The complications of her condition left her in temporary (at least we hope so) dementia (forgetfulness). She couldn't even recognize her own daughter. Arren started crying when she realized this. I, on the other hand, tried to stop myself from breaking down but the tears came out anyway. I believe that me crying was completely inappropriate that's why that experience left me in doubt of my future nursing abilities. I mean, I could take the physical and mental exhaustion and all that.. but I need more work on the emotional side. People in this kind of career have to learn to detach themselves at least a little bit from sick people's situations.. or they'll end up sucking in all the depression. ***** This week was again dominated by CDX. There is not one day during the past week that I went straight home or to the mall or to some other place other than school. The library has become our second home. No time to procrastinate. That's history. Yesterday I, together with a few equally concerned classmates, sacrificed the whole Saturday encoding the data we have gathered. This morning I had the most wonderfully devastating news I've heard all week: that Badong's laptop was stricken by virus and that all the files in it were wiped out. All my yesterday's work are stored in it. No duplicate copies have yet been made. One whole saturday wasted. Submission of the whole CDX manuscript is on Thursday. We're not even half way through. LECHE. ***** Thony and I had wanton noodles yesterday at Chowking. Suddenly I needed some tissue which were located at his side of the table so I asked him to hand over some to me.... Me: uy tissue... Thony: miss you too. whahaha. :D LORL! (laugh out really loud). err. gets niyo? kung hinde xenxa na. gotta get some sleep!!! Labels: blah, showbiz lovelife, skool 2.23.2008
evil invading microorganism
I suffered from a serious cephalalgia the whole day yesterday which later in the afternoon was coupled by moderate hyperthermia with a temperature that rose to 38.5°C. Aside from being febrile, I also experienced a mild case of myalgia which was further aggravated by the not-so-cooperative cold weather, giving me chills all the way home. The only interventions I managed to do when I finally (and thankfully!) reached the house by 6 o'clock were take a brief rest under heaps of thick blankets and ingest a tablet of Biogesic (which I didn't want to take but which my grandma insisted on me taking), an anti-pyretic by the generic name of Paracetamol and by the way endorsed by my favorite pinoy matinee idol John Lloyd (harhar). I have no idea what kind of microorganism entered my body which caused the release of pyrogens and made my thermoregulatory system think that it should raise my body temperature to inhibit the freakin' inconsiderately evil invading microorganism but I nevertheless was very grateful that within an hour and a half of nursing interventions, the hyperthermia went from moderate to mild and the headache verily minimized making me able to function normally again, which I so needed for that night coz there was this big family dinner I had to attend to (but that's another story). Yes! Sa wakas na-apply ko rin ang natutuhan ko sa paaralan! Anyway, while I was battling with physical torment, Thony was at Villa Alfredo's with some of his friends. That's probably another reason why I was so sick that day. I dislike it when he goes out with his friends. I'm that possessive. And yes, I'm that evil. More evil than the invading microorganism. But I'm gradually trying to get rid of that kind of attitude. It's not like I own him. I can't own him. I'm not supposed to. That's downright immature and selfish. ♥♥♥ Labels: blah, showbiz lovelife 2.15.2008
my feb.14
I told him not to bother giving me flowers this year anymore.. but he just didn't listen. Oh well, I loved them anyway.: )
  Thony and I celebrated at my home. Cheers to us and to everyone else who stayed home on feb. 14 instead of being out to dinner dates just because crappy MAJOR EXAMS happen to love Valentine's day too. Hmm.. but it's really not where and how you spend feb. 14 that matter most.. it's who you spend it with.:') Labels: blah, photography, showbiz lovelife 12.20.2007
All I Want for Christmas
Mood: reminiSCENT   Curve Cologne by Liz ClaiborneFragrance notes: fresh greens, warm wind, pepper, finishing with mahogany and water Curve reminds me of that Christmas Eve two years ago when Thony and Eric came by our house for no reason at all and we talked til it was almost time for Noche Buena. Thony was wearing Curve cologne which I swear could attract a huge percentage of the female population and make them fall head over heels. It stuck to everywhere he went and touched. The scent was there on the couch where he sat on, even days after Christmas Eve. It stuck to Devil (my red devil stuffed toy) which he placed on top of our Christmas tree and made me promise not to remove it from there but which I removed anyway coz I wanted to take it all the way to Singapore to remind me of his scent while I was away for the holidays. He wore it everyday to class so I knew he was sitting on a nearby armchair even if my back was turned to him. It stuck to his hankie which he left lying around somewhere and which I, as a former evil sneaky stalker, picked up and kept inside my memory box. He wore it on our final class Retreat in January wherein he hugged me during that particular part in retreats that you get to say thank you or sorry or i love you or whatever to anyone in class, with me thinking that it would be the last hug I'd ever get from him since the school year was about to end and we're parting ways for college. He wore it too during prom in February when he professed his undying love (ick, can't believe I'm saying these things in here) for me. He wore it in March at Carmelite Monastery where we officially became a couple (naks). The scent was just everywhere! Of course the bottle eventually emptied. Gamitin ba naman araw-araw siyempre mauubos helow. Ok, enough. Let's go back to Christmas coz it's what I was intending to write about in the first place. Sooo.. All I want for Christmas is this.. a small bottle of Curve cologne, so I could have Thony wear it and remind me once more of that very memorable Christmas which I thought was my first and last one with him.. even if little did I know, we were going to be spending a lot more Christmases with each other.  But hell I'm not willing to spend 2,000 pesos for one small bottle of perfume!.. Even if its scent really means a lot to me. So until now, I'm still hoping Santa has me on his list.. though I don't think I've been a very good girl this year. Haha!  Labels: showbiz lovelife 12.19.2007
not-so-secret love affair
Mood: chill-chill Yipee!  This morning, I finally received the package which contains the Fuji Sensia slide films I ordered from one of the nice people of lomomanila (huge thanks to kuya Jay Ravelo!!). I've been watching a pirated DVD of one of John Lloyd's movies (yep you read right.. believe it or not, I love John Lloyd coz he kinda reminds me of someone I know hihihi) with Bea when I realized that the package of films that I've been waiting for has finally arrived and has been sitting right beside the tv for hours already. Oo na mulala na kung mulala. Anyway, I've loaded the first roll and I can't wait to take Fishywishy out to shoot. The other babies are chilling in the freezer now...Let me tell you a secret.. I'm having a love affair... with FILM. Ssshhh.. Don't tell my boyfriend. haha. Pahinga muna ko sandali sa digicam and camera phones. Ooh it's six days before Christmas.. but I can't feel it just yet. Maybe tomorrow I will. But not today.. I'm still recovering pa kasi from the brain torture that prelim exams gave me. Well, the exams really weren't that hard if you ask me (or anyone else who took the exam maybe).. I just hate the reviewing part. It's torture. Ok, tamad na kung tamad. BTW, because of the exams Thony and I weren't able to do anything special to celebrate our 21st month which was last monday. All we did was review together at my home... But it doesn't matter.. Any day with him is special.   Ang kyut naman ng ice cream na 'to. Labels: blah, lomolove, photography, showbiz lovelife 11.17.2007
not another sorry letter
Mood: super dooper todo senti..
 To Thony: Ok, here's your letter. I'm sorry it took too long. I'm sorry it's late. I didn't want to scream to the world what it says so I just took a picture of it instead, a proof that I really did write tonight. I don't think anyone has such good eyesight as to be able to make out the words from the image. Err at least I hope so, coz what's in it is pretty embarrassing.  This letter does not and cannot say it all, but it does have a piece of me...I AM SORRY.. not only because I missed our monthly tradition (hoi nakalimot ka rin dati noh!) but also because of reasons beyond that.. 'Lam mo na yun. (waah. ang korni. pero seryoso at mabigat 'tong sulat na 'to pare.) I love you. Happy 20th month to us. Labels: photography, showbiz lovelife 9.17.2007
ban love letters
Mood: down
I've always been a big advocate of love letters. I've been receiving, writing and keeping them ever since I could remember. In fact, I probably have stacks hidden all over my room. Yes they're cheesy and a little old but sweet and cute at the same time. I love Love letters. But that was until today. From now on, I am banning them.  This is probably the last love letter I will ever write. So much for some monthsary trash eh?! I'm not even going to actually give this one to the person it is addressed to. I don't think he deserves to read the pretty words I have placed in it. Ugh. What am I saying?! I can't hate love letters! I know this is again just one of my teenage mediocre drama. So please pardon me for blabbering non-sense. Whatever. I know next week I might change my mind back. Or next month maybe. But one thing's for sure. I will never forget today. So whoever you are, Thanks for the worst 17th of the month ever. Labels: showbiz lovelife 8.27.2007
alcohol-pink lips and a tale from two years ago
Mood: nostalgic (again?!)
 Over the years, I've observed that one of the effects of alcohol on me is that the next morning I get pinker lips. That makes me love it. What makes me hate it is that, also on the next morning, I have to battle a terrible headache. But that's ok, the pink lips effect is enough to compensate for that. haha.Last night was spent at Camalig with some classmates who include peachy (a.k.a. juni, joyni), rain (a.k.a. reanne), jO (a.k.a. joan), xtian, july, soi and a bunch of their other friends whose names I can't remember (mga hindi sumipot: jen, gyk, khesed, chelle. to khesed: tol, no more friendship!ehe.). Of course I brought along thony with me and as usual, we were fighting again half of the time we were there. But again that was only half the time, nagbati kami dahil na rin sa kakakulit ni peachy. After what seemed like a whole hour of shouting "kuya pengeng menu!", nilapitan kami sa wakas ng bangag na waiter (lagi naman mahina ang pandinig ng mga waiter sa camalig. argh.) and ilang minutes pa after nun ay dumating sina xtian and july at umuwi kaagad si jO sa kadahilanang hindi maaaring ilagay dito dahil magagalit siya. Basta, nainis daw kasi siya kay toot. Di nga namin magets kung bakit eh. hmpf. At umuwi din kaagad si rain dahil galet na ata tatay niya. But besides those, masaya naman. Anyway, nabalitaan ko kay xtian na habang nakaupo kami dun ay may ongoing audition for the SMB battle of the bands at Nepo Quad, which is, like, a short walk from Camalig. Di ko man lang alam yun kung hindi binalita ni xtian. Hay napag-iiwanan na talaga ako ng mga balita. hectic kasi sched ko eh. haha. And so, since i'm a sucker for bands, niyaya ko silang manood kami dun. At nagbayad na nga kami at naglakad. Pagdating namin sa nepo quad, a wave of nostalgia came over me (bat ba ang hilig kong maging nostalgic?! ang corny). I remember being on that same place about two years ago. 4th year ako nun. Thony and I were then merely classmates in IV-Acts who occasionally had exchanges of mga walang kwentang conversations (nagtatanong pa nga siya ng mga tips sa kin nun eh. may nililigawan kasi siyang iba. leche.) Medyo feeling close friends na rin kami noong time na yun. Anyway, that night at Nepo Quad nga, two years ago, thony's band was playing for the SMB battle of the bands and we (kaming mga familians, supportive fan base nila) were there to cheer for them. Hindi pa kami ni thony nun. lalong hindi pa siya chubby nun. (hehe. peace.ü) ..at kagabi lang ay nabigla na lang ako dahil may nalaman akong magandang katotohanan.. thony: di ba yung suot mo nun ay yung striped hoodie na gray chaka black na chucks? me: oo! bat naaalala mo pa?! thony: siyempre gagu crush na kaya kita non! me: totoo?! walangya ka bat ngayon mo lang sinabi yan!? (kinikilig) i also remember saying good luck to him then before they went up the stage kasi nga..... me: akala mo ikaw lang?! naaalala ko rin yung suot mo nung battle na yun noh..! hehe.. thony: talaga?! sige nga ano?! me: jacket na blue! thony: oo galing! hiniram ko lang kay ghino yun.. hehe. buti alam mo pa hanggang ngayon?! me: gaga crush na rin kaya kita nun! Nung time na yun, I was then with someone else but he didn't care that much since what he had for me was only a small crush. The simple "good luck" that I gave him plus konting pasmile-smile were the only form of communication we had, after which we went on with our separate social lives for the rest of the night. Kung baga, kahit crush na niya ako at crush ko siya, wla pa naman kaming masyadong pakialam sa isa't-isa noon. Now, when I look back on that, I can't help but feel amazed at how one point in life, a person could be just someone so plainly and randomly ordinary and at another point, without you being able to predict, can be someone who affects your life so greatly. It's funny how you never predicted that the person would actually someday become a part of your world or, even, become your world. Parang epidemic. at one moment, wala. tapos bigla na lang magiging sobrang infectious. And so , in memory of my nostalgic and slightly dazed state last night, I took some snapshots of the SMB tent. wala lang.
I miss those days too. Somehow. And I still love the music of course. It stays in my blood-pumping cardiovascular organ. It's just that mas matino na ko ngayon.. nang konti. eheh. ciao.  Labels: photography, showbiz lovelife |
